hope vs determination vs blind

As part of my 12 banned books in 2009, I just finished The Great Gatsby. I read it first in high school where I enjoyed it. But looking at this classic through adult (or maybe more mature) eyes has had a larger influence on me and how I view my life than it did when I was 17.

Gatsby is obsessed with the past, but constantly working in the present to obtain the future he thinks he is his destiny. How is this any different than me choosing to be an actor at a fairly young age working every day since then to be the actor (and have the success) that I have always dreamed of? Am I as blinded as Gatsby?

A lot of this past vs present vs future thought process has been driven by the piece I am currently working on - The Long Count - with New Leaf Theater. Their question for the season (and in my opinion the driving force behind the piece) is: How do we build a future from a present we didn't expect? Good question - and if you have the answer shoot me a line, would you?

Gatsby expected his present. He worked his adult life to create his present, but that still did not give him the future he wanted. I don't know what I expected when I decided I wanted to be an actor. I guess I knew at some point it would be hard, stressful, and full of disappointments. But it was always assumed that at some point I would dance with Patrick Swayze, star in a romantic comedy with Tom Cruise (before he went crazy), and win an Oscar/Tony for something wonderful. Isn't this as absurd as Gatsby thinking as soon as Daisy saw him she would leave Tom and her life style for a romantic fling she had when she was 18ish?

Was Gatsby blind to alternate futures or simply determined by a dream? Am I blind to my an alternate future or simply determined by a dream? Is my green light across the water as out of reach as Gatsby's? Are actors who "make it" the ones who work like hell to get it done - running with the right crowd - saying the right thing to the right people - dressing the right way? If so, they are the same as Gatsby, but did not meet the ultimate demise that he did.

With all of this rambling, what is the difference between blinded determination and hope? Is it better to be open to any new experience or focused on what you really want (you think you really want).