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So, I am on Match. I am not embarrassed about it (much). I haven't been paying that much attention to it recently, but found myself online in front of crappy TV and thought - what the hell - might as well update that profile and see who is out there.
The opening question is "Describe yourself and your perfect match". Easy-peasy right? If I knew who the f I was and what the f I was looking for - do you really think I would be on Match? But, I fill it out with all of my best qualities - improving everything by an average of 10% and trying to keep the sarcasm to a minimum.
But the question of "your perfect match" still stuck with me. I think they are the imperfections are what draw you into a person. Not in a way of "That is what I am going to fix." But in a way of "that is what makes you different, and that is some of the reason why I like you." Perfection is unattainable. Perfection is boring. Perfection is not what I want. I want a real person - you can only get perfection from an android. And I am not interested in that.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
more touchy feely crap
So, second post in a row about touchy-feely crap. But I ran 3.1 miles (5K) and had some time to think. Hopefully I will move past this aspect of my blog. But stick with it...
Last week my shrink talked about self-actualization. When she explained it I said it sounded too much like self-help-touchy-feely books. Then she said she did her doctoral thesis on it and I felt like a total tool. In an attempt to get back in her good graces, I told her I would think about it over the week. And I have. (But why do I care if my shrink likes me? Don't I pay her to like me?)
Basic premise of self-actualization:
I have inside myself what I need to do what I want.
Self-help book, am I right? But the more I think about it (on my run today) the more it makes some sense.
I have inside myself the strength to push myself to my physical limits.
I have inside myself the patience to take life one step at a time.
Think about it. Try it.
You have inside yourself the strength to do what you want with your life.
You have inside yourself the determination to reach the goals of your life.
Think about it.
Last week my shrink talked about self-actualization. When she explained it I said it sounded too much like self-help-touchy-feely books. Then she said she did her doctoral thesis on it and I felt like a total tool. In an attempt to get back in her good graces, I told her I would think about it over the week. And I have. (But why do I care if my shrink likes me? Don't I pay her to like me?)
Basic premise of self-actualization:
I have inside myself what I need to do what I want.
Self-help book, am I right? But the more I think about it (on my run today) the more it makes some sense.
I have inside myself the strength to push myself to my physical limits.
I have inside myself the patience to take life one step at a time.
Think about it. Try it.
You have inside yourself the strength to do what you want with your life.
You have inside yourself the determination to reach the goals of your life.
Think about it.
not about religion
I am not religious. I was born and raised catholic, but not currently practicing. But, I would say I am spiritual in a karmic kind of way. I believe good deeds are rewarded. I believe there are repercussions for our actions. Do I believe in a higher being pulling the strings, but still giving us choice? I don't know.
The bible and I go way back. I read it as a teen, but don't really remember why. I took a course in college about religious texts as literature. I think there are wonderful stories and the similarities between each religion's sacred text is fascinating. And sometimes, I find something in the Bible (and other texts), things that actually helps me in life.
I found this from St. Francis. I don't know if it is in the bible. I don't even remember where I found it. But here it is:
Where there is charity and wisdom there is no fear nor ignorance.
Where there is patience and humility there is neither anger nor vexation.
Where there is peace and meditation there is neither anxiety nor doubt.
Going through life, if we practice charity and wisdom, could our fear and ignorance go away? If we find patience and humility in ourselves will our uncontrollable anger and vexation for the petty things disappear? If we find peace and meditate, will our anxiety and doubt be relieved?
I don't know. But I do know, for whatever reason, this helps. Do I know it by heart? No. Do I still yell at cars when they blatantly disregard pedestrian right of way? Yes. But it is a good reminder. Something to bring me back to the important things in life; and the way I want to live my live.
The bible and I go way back. I read it as a teen, but don't really remember why. I took a course in college about religious texts as literature. I think there are wonderful stories and the similarities between each religion's sacred text is fascinating. And sometimes, I find something in the Bible (and other texts), things that actually helps me in life.
I found this from St. Francis. I don't know if it is in the bible. I don't even remember where I found it. But here it is:
Where there is charity and wisdom there is no fear nor ignorance.
Where there is patience and humility there is neither anger nor vexation.
Where there is peace and meditation there is neither anxiety nor doubt.
Going through life, if we practice charity and wisdom, could our fear and ignorance go away? If we find patience and humility in ourselves will our uncontrollable anger and vexation for the petty things disappear? If we find peace and meditate, will our anxiety and doubt be relieved?
I don't know. But I do know, for whatever reason, this helps. Do I know it by heart? No. Do I still yell at cars when they blatantly disregard pedestrian right of way? Yes. But it is a good reminder. Something to bring me back to the important things in life; and the way I want to live my live.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Vindication
No particulars. No names. Only this: vindication is a sweet, sweet reward. Better than revenge.
multitasking or just taxing?
I am, if i may brag, the queen of multitasking. I read while watching TV. I brush my teeth and do my morning stretches. I memorize monologues while running. I do my mouthwash swishing and pack my lunch at the same time.
But does all of this multitasking add up to too much? Does the act of multitasking take more out of you than if you did each task individually? How much brain power does it take to find and execute the most effective use of your time?
The bigger question: is this really the best for our body and soul? We are in the days of constant stimulation (TV, ipods, PDAs, email, computers, advertisements, ect). How often to we just sit. What are the thoughts that are racing through our mind when we are just sitting? Worry about something coming up? Making a list of what you have to do when you start doing stuff again? Even when we relax, we still multitasking.
The closest thing we have to doing only one thing at one time is when we are sleeping. That is why having sleep - the correct kind and length is so important. It is this only way to truly refresh. It is the only way to build the strength t0 multitask our way through each day.
But does all of this multitasking add up to too much? Does the act of multitasking take more out of you than if you did each task individually? How much brain power does it take to find and execute the most effective use of your time?
The bigger question: is this really the best for our body and soul? We are in the days of constant stimulation (TV, ipods, PDAs, email, computers, advertisements, ect). How often to we just sit. What are the thoughts that are racing through our mind when we are just sitting? Worry about something coming up? Making a list of what you have to do when you start doing stuff again? Even when we relax, we still multitasking.
The closest thing we have to doing only one thing at one time is when we are sleeping. That is why having sleep - the correct kind and length is so important. It is this only way to truly refresh. It is the only way to build the strength t0 multitask our way through each day.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
42
It takes 42 consecutive nights of going to the same ice cream place and order the exact same thing until they give it to you for free.
Tonight was night 42.
Each of the workers have know my face for a while. A few weeks back they knew my order right away. They were even calling to the back for it while there were still people in front of me in line. But tonight was the break-through. The manager was there, who I have had fairly in-depth discussions about the fruit to chocolate to cream ratio that makes for excellent flavors. She came in from the back, saw me at the window, said, "I got it." and went to grab my Raspberry Chip Cheesecake, kid's size, in a cup. I sheepishly look at the couple beside me and say, "I'm a regular".
This past week I have really been contemplating if they the girls that work there think I am crazy or have an eating disorder. They may think I am homeless and beg for the $2.50 habit I have. (they would think this because I usually go in the same cut-off sweatpants and Produce-A-Plenty polo shirt I put on each night as soon as I get home from work.
But when the manager brought up my order to the window, she said it was, "on her." I at first refused, then thanked profusely. So this leads me to believe that I am not the crazy fat girl that comes every night. (though one time I did run to them in heals, 4 bags, and a dress yelling from across the street, "Are you still open for one more order!?!?!")
No. I am the loyal customer base who recommends Annette's to anyone in the city looking for good ice cream (or Italian Ice - though I have never had it). No recession will get me down. I will gladly skip Starbucks for my ice cream. Annette's recognizes this and rewards it.
Thank you Annette's!
(Annette's is located on the NE corner of Armitage and Bissell)
Disclaimer - I officially endorse Annette's for ice cream in the Chicago area. However, until Greater's starts coughing up freebies, they aren't going to get any promos from me.
Tonight was night 42.
Each of the workers have know my face for a while. A few weeks back they knew my order right away. They were even calling to the back for it while there were still people in front of me in line. But tonight was the break-through. The manager was there, who I have had fairly in-depth discussions about the fruit to chocolate to cream ratio that makes for excellent flavors. She came in from the back, saw me at the window, said, "I got it." and went to grab my Raspberry Chip Cheesecake, kid's size, in a cup. I sheepishly look at the couple beside me and say, "I'm a regular".
This past week I have really been contemplating if they the girls that work there think I am crazy or have an eating disorder. They may think I am homeless and beg for the $2.50 habit I have. (they would think this because I usually go in the same cut-off sweatpants and Produce-A-Plenty polo shirt I put on each night as soon as I get home from work.
But when the manager brought up my order to the window, she said it was, "on her." I at first refused, then thanked profusely. So this leads me to believe that I am not the crazy fat girl that comes every night. (though one time I did run to them in heals, 4 bags, and a dress yelling from across the street, "Are you still open for one more order!?!?!")
No. I am the loyal customer base who recommends Annette's to anyone in the city looking for good ice cream (or Italian Ice - though I have never had it). No recession will get me down. I will gladly skip Starbucks for my ice cream. Annette's recognizes this and rewards it.
Thank you Annette's!
(Annette's is located on the NE corner of Armitage and Bissell)
Disclaimer - I officially endorse Annette's for ice cream in the Chicago area. However, until Greater's starts coughing up freebies, they aren't going to get any promos from me.
Monday, August 11, 2008
not hungry an hour after
08/08/08. I was there. I ordered in Chinese. I plopped down in front of my TV like all good Americans to watch and hope our top athletes beat the crap out of other countries' top athletes.
I caught the tail end of the opening ceremony. I was flipping back and forth - the parade of nations is a bit like watching C-Span with ESPN commentary. They should at least put NBC News (rather than Sports) commentators on for this part. Hopefully they would be able to tell us that the Central African Republic is a republic in central Africa. Really? Are you sure?
The lighting of the torch was pretty cool. But the solo race around the "bird's nest" was a bit long. I hope Chicago gets the 2012 Olympics, but I don't know what we could do that would be as cool. Maybe something with the lake?
But then I started to watch the actual events. I happened upon the Micheal Phelp's 400 meter melody. You know, the event that GW went to. I was so tense. Would he win gold? Would he break his own record? On the butterfly he was neck in neck with lanes 4 and 5. I never understood this stroke - how is it possible to do this well? It is like doing the 'worm' in the water.
Then the backstroke. I don't remember what happen during these 100 meters because all I could think about was how each swimmer out there learned the "flutter-flutter" feet kick I did when I learned the back stroke. How did I end up here eating Chinese and they there? How many times did it take for my head hit the back of the pool because I didn't reach correctly to do the flip to go the other way?
The breaststroke was next. This is where Phelps almost lost it. It is his worst stroke (I learned that from the oh so smart NBC Sports people). He almost lost it, but he maintained. Then - the last 200 meters. He pulled it out. The free-stroke freed him just like freedom fries. He pulled ahead and got 'er done. GOLD!!!!!
But I haven't breathed the whole time they have been swimming, my feet and hands are all crunched up and my sholders are practically in my ears I am so stressed out. I can't handle this. Everytime I watch an event I am either totally stressed about the US team doing well or am bored out of my mind. (Can anyone say men's bike road ride?)
So, after an hour of the Chinese olympics, I am not hungry for more. I think there are a few more weeks of this. I don't think I will miss it. I don't get the channel that well anyway.
I caught the tail end of the opening ceremony. I was flipping back and forth - the parade of nations is a bit like watching C-Span with ESPN commentary. They should at least put NBC News (rather than Sports) commentators on for this part. Hopefully they would be able to tell us that the Central African Republic is a republic in central Africa. Really? Are you sure?
The lighting of the torch was pretty cool. But the solo race around the "bird's nest" was a bit long. I hope Chicago gets the 2012 Olympics, but I don't know what we could do that would be as cool. Maybe something with the lake?
But then I started to watch the actual events. I happened upon the Micheal Phelp's 400 meter melody. You know, the event that GW went to. I was so tense. Would he win gold? Would he break his own record? On the butterfly he was neck in neck with lanes 4 and 5. I never understood this stroke - how is it possible to do this well? It is like doing the 'worm' in the water.
Then the backstroke. I don't remember what happen during these 100 meters because all I could think about was how each swimmer out there learned the "flutter-flutter" feet kick I did when I learned the back stroke. How did I end up here eating Chinese and they there? How many times did it take for my head hit the back of the pool because I didn't reach correctly to do the flip to go the other way?
The breaststroke was next. This is where Phelps almost lost it. It is his worst stroke (I learned that from the oh so smart NBC Sports people). He almost lost it, but he maintained. Then - the last 200 meters. He pulled it out. The free-stroke freed him just like freedom fries. He pulled ahead and got 'er done. GOLD!!!!!
But I haven't breathed the whole time they have been swimming, my feet and hands are all crunched up and my sholders are practically in my ears I am so stressed out. I can't handle this. Everytime I watch an event I am either totally stressed about the US team doing well or am bored out of my mind. (Can anyone say men's bike road ride?)
So, after an hour of the Chinese olympics, I am not hungry for more. I think there are a few more weeks of this. I don't think I will miss it. I don't get the channel that well anyway.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Other side of the table
Performink is not my favorite trade magazine for articles or insight on acting. However, Joe Wycoff has a great article online right now.
It basically gives 6 tips for the audition-ers. As Wycoff mentions, there are hundreds of books about how audition-ees should act, perform, ect. But there is not to my knowledge one for audition-er. Those sitting on the other side of the table with a stack of very expensive headshots and resumes, painfully cut to size and stapled to resumes (printed on paper and the printer from work).
The one thing I would add is, make a general a general and a callback a callback. If you want to see a bunch of people because they don't really know what they want. That is fine. But have a show general. But, if you know what you want (even if it isn't me) don't callback 20 people for one role. A callback is because you have a specific idea in mind and you think you have about 5 people you could get it from. Bring in those 5 people and really see what they can do. Don't send me 3 sets of sides and then have me read only once.
It all comes back to respect. Again - lattes are not needed, but common curtsies and a mutual understanding. Yes, actors can be idiots, thoughtless, and disrespectful. But I'm not. Give me the benefit of the doubt that I am not going to be a total f-nut.
Anywho - check out the article. He said a lot of what I have been feeling over the past few months.
It basically gives 6 tips for the audition-ers. As Wycoff mentions, there are hundreds of books about how audition-ees should act, perform, ect. But there is not to my knowledge one for audition-er. Those sitting on the other side of the table with a stack of very expensive headshots and resumes, painfully cut to size and stapled to resumes (printed on paper and the printer from work).
The one thing I would add is, make a general a general and a callback a callback. If you want to see a bunch of people because they don't really know what they want. That is fine. But have a show general. But, if you know what you want (even if it isn't me) don't callback 20 people for one role. A callback is because you have a specific idea in mind and you think you have about 5 people you could get it from. Bring in those 5 people and really see what they can do. Don't send me 3 sets of sides and then have me read only once.
It all comes back to respect. Again - lattes are not needed, but common curtsies and a mutual understanding. Yes, actors can be idiots, thoughtless, and disrespectful. But I'm not. Give me the benefit of the doubt that I am not going to be a total f-nut.
Anywho - check out the article. He said a lot of what I have been feeling over the past few months.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
I forgot about Fox
I don't have cable. I actually love not having cable. If I am going to waste my time on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, I would rather waste it watching a PBS documentary than Jurassic Park on TBS for the 20th time.
But when I moved last year, my cheap ass rabbit ears would not pick up Fox. I had to say goodbye to weekday Seinfield and Simpson's reruns, Saturday afternoon 80's movies and even new shows like Bones (I don't know why I like it, but I do). In the past year without Fox, all of these things have fallen away from my life. I didn't even miss them. And I saw a lot of documentaries on PBS. I will never lose my love for PBS.
But I just got a new TV. I still have rabbit ears and no cable, but the number of channels I receive doubled. Now I have 2 PBS channels, 3 Spanish channels, 2 nick-a-night knock off channels (in English) and Fox. I haven't seen an episode of the Simpson's in over a year. I completely forgot that they have new episode on Sundays - Finally there is an alternative to the Extreme Make-Over House Edition cry-fest. I totally forgot about Fox.
I still keep up with my PBS, but I am re-discovering the enjoyment of flipping channels. I even found Reno 911 the other day. I have no idea what channel it was on because I have so many now! Each day is a season premiere for me. God help me when the fall season does start. I will be so torn! I guess I can always watch the shows online. But my Internet connection isn't great, because I piggyback off my neighbor. :)
To be clear - I am not talking about Fox News. I work very hard not to ever talk about Fox News.
But when I moved last year, my cheap ass rabbit ears would not pick up Fox. I had to say goodbye to weekday Seinfield and Simpson's reruns, Saturday afternoon 80's movies and even new shows like Bones (I don't know why I like it, but I do). In the past year without Fox, all of these things have fallen away from my life. I didn't even miss them. And I saw a lot of documentaries on PBS. I will never lose my love for PBS.
But I just got a new TV. I still have rabbit ears and no cable, but the number of channels I receive doubled. Now I have 2 PBS channels, 3 Spanish channels, 2 nick-a-night knock off channels (in English) and Fox. I haven't seen an episode of the Simpson's in over a year. I completely forgot that they have new episode on Sundays - Finally there is an alternative to the Extreme Make-Over House Edition cry-fest. I totally forgot about Fox.
I still keep up with my PBS, but I am re-discovering the enjoyment of flipping channels. I even found Reno 911 the other day. I have no idea what channel it was on because I have so many now! Each day is a season premiere for me. God help me when the fall season does start. I will be so torn! I guess I can always watch the shows online. But my Internet connection isn't great, because I piggyback off my neighbor. :)
To be clear - I am not talking about Fox News. I work very hard not to ever talk about Fox News.
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