not hungry an hour after

08/08/08. I was there. I ordered in Chinese. I plopped down in front of my TV like all good Americans to watch and hope our top athletes beat the crap out of other countries' top athletes.

I caught the tail end of the opening ceremony. I was flipping back and forth - the parade of nations is a bit like watching C-Span with ESPN commentary. They should at least put NBC News (rather than Sports) commentators on for this part. Hopefully they would be able to tell us that the Central African Republic is a republic in central Africa. Really? Are you sure?

The lighting of the torch was pretty cool. But the solo race around the "bird's nest" was a bit long. I hope Chicago gets the 2012 Olympics, but I don't know what we could do that would be as cool. Maybe something with the lake?

But then I started to watch the actual events. I happened upon the Micheal Phelp's 400 meter melody. You know, the event that GW went to. I was so tense. Would he win gold? Would he break his own record? On the butterfly he was neck in neck with lanes 4 and 5. I never understood this stroke - how is it possible to do this well? It is like doing the 'worm' in the water.

Then the backstroke. I don't remember what happen during these 100 meters because all I could think about was how each swimmer out there learned the "flutter-flutter" feet kick I did when I learned the back stroke. How did I end up here eating Chinese and they there? How many times did it take for my head hit the back of the pool because I didn't reach correctly to do the flip to go the other way?

The breaststroke was next. This is where Phelps almost lost it. It is his worst stroke (I learned that from the oh so smart NBC Sports people). He almost lost it, but he maintained. Then - the last 200 meters. He pulled it out. The free-stroke freed him just like freedom fries. He pulled ahead and got 'er done. GOLD!!!!!

But I haven't breathed the whole time they have been swimming, my feet and hands are all crunched up and my sholders are practically in my ears I am so stressed out. I can't handle this. Everytime I watch an event I am either totally stressed about the US team doing well or am bored out of my mind. (Can anyone say men's bike road ride?)

So, after an hour of the Chinese olympics, I am not hungry for more. I think there are a few more weeks of this. I don't think I will miss it. I don't get the channel that well anyway.