The Curse of Creativity

I have a few friends I needed to catch up with, but due to schedules, the only time we seem to be able to meet is on Saturday or Sunday mornings. And if you want to get a table at ANY brunch place on Saturday or Sunday you must arrive by 10:15am - no later than 10:30. I have found that the prime time for brunch meetings is 10:30 - 11am. If you wait till then - you will WAIT for table. Even for the dives I frequent.

But anyway - I was having breakfast with a friend on Sunday. We were talking work - as theatre people we never seem to be able to go 5 minutes without something relating to something that relates to the creative process. I was saying how I am always fearful of missing an opportunity. How I feel guilty when I find the hour to watch TV and I end up watching The Biggest Loser - a show I have no connection with and honestly don't enjoy, but is mindless and easy. But at the same time, how run down and overwhelmed I get with so much going on and so much I want to do.

He said I have the curse of creativity. WOW. What a phrase: the curse of creativity. It is a huge complement. I work in creative fields, I have been know participate in a creative thing or two, but I do not consider myself specifically creative. But then he continued:

The curse of creativity is the curse of constantly needing to create something. The need to use time wisely. You don't want to waste a minute (even if it is to eat) because your mind is overflowing with all of new options/projects/ideas - how do you pick? how do you keep track? how do you prioritize? how do you finish one before you start the next?

how do you live a full life (artistically, socially, financially and all of the rest) and keep the creative hamster wheel turning? the faster you run, the faster that hamster wheel goes - how do you keep up with yourself?

A mixture of caffeine and anti-anxiety meds? That is what I am running on now - you can see how it is working: writing a blog that no one reads at 12:03am when I have to be up at 6am for a full day of work then rehearsal.

There is so much out there - so much to do. I want it all and I want it now. How long do I have to wait for my present to become my future. And if I go too fast, I will miss my present and future: if you are in constant preparation for the next thing, when do you enjoy and experience the thing you are currently doing?