48 hours

In the past 48 hours I think I have lived about 5 different lives. But the great thing about humans is the ability to absorb, react, adapt, and be present. Being present is a big thing for me in 2009. It may have taken a decade to really grow up after I left high school, but something in the past 48 hours has really made a difference.

A friend this weekend said something that has really stuck with me:

I don't want to sacrifice any part of my 'self' to be an actor. I will never be
happy if one part of my life is always an emotional/physical drain.

Oh, too true my friend. Facebook status recently posted my as "learning to juggle". While I wish I really was learning a really useful skill with bowling pins and oranges - I was being metaphorical. In the past 48 hours I have juggled a job interview, made good progress on the job I currently have, completed first rehearsals for 2 different shows, finally finished 3 weeks worth of ironing, and posting to this blog (which I have neglected for far too long).

Am I tired? A little - but mostly I am exhilarated.

Yes, it is 11pm and I am hoping to be at work no later than 7:30am tomorrow. Will that happen? I really hope so. But if I don't, it will be another ball to add into the mix. What fun - right?

not what you know - who you know

One thing I know is I don't know everything. When I need to figure out the percentage increase (or decrease) I call my mom. When I need to know if I should use effect or affect, I call my sister. When I need to know sports highlights so I can have conversations in the elevator at work, I call my dad. When I don't know something, I can usually get to someone who does know or can help me work it out.

I can't do long division in my head, but I can do it with an excel spreadsheet formula. I can't do the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle, but if you let me google it, I can get pretty darn close.

More often than not, skill and competency is based on immediate facts and figures. But this knowledge is static. What is more valuable: a word doc template from 1993 or an cross-referencing excel spreadsheet I got from an open source site on the internet?

Librarians are a perfect example of this "moving target" of knowledge. I am amazed by librarians who know exactly what I am looking for and where it is even though I am describing it completely wrong. But at the same time, they know how to research. They know that just because they knew the answer 2 years ago it doesn't mean the answer is still the same.

Stifling one who doesn't know the answer right away, but can provide you with the answer and most up-to-date information in a short period of time, is the equivalent to putting your hands over your ears and singing "la la la la" when he/she speaks.

Now what is the value of that?

rant over.

Great shoes.

Picture it: I am on my way home from the gym tonight. I just put in 2.5 miles, which is pretty good for me. I am somewhat sweaty, have no make-up on, and I am rocking out with my ipod. I hop on the brown sit for my four-stop trip home.

A gentleman steps on to the train at Diversey. This gentleman sits across from me. He is in his mid 30's. He has a very round face, not fat - just round. I would rate him a 6 out of 10. Then he reaches down to tie his shoelace. Not only tie it, but he double knots it. I look at these shoes and they are great. They are worn leather - they look like the old-timey football helmets. They were totally awesome.

I flip up my earmuff, pulled out my earbud, and say, "Those are really great shoes." Then I smiled and made eye contact. But then I realized - I just tried to pick up this guy on the way home from the gym. I said one of the oldest lines in the book. I am a player and didn't even know it.

Luckily I only had one awkward stop to sit there realizing the foot I put in my mouth. I didn't mean to try to pick him up? I just liked his shoes. Did I learn a lesson? Yes, only accidental use a pick-up line on an 8 or higher.

Inauguration a week later

Tomorrow we will be 1 week into Obama's administration. I have watched all of the Sunday pundit shows and now feel fully informed to share my views.

1. Dick Cheney was the spitting image of Mr. Potter from It's A Wonderful Life. Seriously. Creepy
   
   



2. Have low expectations and you will always be pleasantly surprised.
   
   Obama's ultimate downfall will be not meeting the expectation of his supporters. They are vocal, invested citizens. Obama is the one politician my generation has respect for. Those with the most have the most to loose. But we must realize 6 months ago when he was campaigning we lived in a different world. The best laid plans of mice and men...and all of that. But what can we do? That is what Kennedy asked and what Obama said is the only thing that will save us. We each have to be responsible for ourselves and our neighbors.
   
   The movie 600 comes to mind. The reason why they were so successful is because you protect the man on your left and the man on your right protects you. What if we incorporated this into our daily life? The only way this works is with trust. Do we trust each other? Do we trust the government? Do we trust ourselves to do the right thing?
   
3. Now is our time. Not to sit, but to work.
   We are all responsible for this moment in history and we should all celebrate it to the fullest. Without prior generations of fearless individuals taking stands (personally and publicly) Obama would not be our president today. But what will our generation stand for? What moments in history will we contribute to? We are reaping the benefits of so many, how can we continue the good work?

One week down and 207 to go. Lets roll up our selves and get to work.

Watching war (**edited**)

I do not know much about the Israeli/Palestine/Gaza history or conflict.

(**edited**)
From watching George on This week, I originally posted incorrect information regarding this conflict. I still do not know much about the conflict, but this is a somewhat more accurate account:

I think it has something to do about Palestine and Hamas (ruling party of Palestine?) not following the established peace treaty where Israel returned control of the Gaza Strip in exchange for peace between the countries approximately in 2005. Can anyone correct me or expand on this?

The specifics of the situation aside, this is a war/conflict that America did not start. Is this how the rest of the world looks at the Iraqi war? Yes, it is on a smaller scale. Casualties have be relatively low, Israel did not start the conflict, but they uped the stakes with the ground campaign . From what I have learned through PBS documentaries, the Iraqi causalities from the shock and awe of "strategic smart bombs" were much less than when boots hit the ground. Is this going to be true in Gaza?

And I don't think America is completely clean of responsibility in this military action. Politics and US finical support of Israel causes aside, American has set a precedence for overzealous military reactions and the minimization of diplomacy. Ms Rice can say what she likes about a need for a "swift and sustainable" cease fire but, as a "superpower" what are we doing. Shouldn't all cease fires be swift and sustainable? It seems to me that those who have tried to mediate don't have the street credit with either group for them to stick with it.

Major military campaigns are not drawn up as quickly as Israel reacted. If they don't believe that Palestine will keep their side of the cease fire mediated by Egypt of course they are going to prepare for action. If Palestine sees Israel prepping, of course they will build up as well.

It is a vicious circle of mistrust. So who can gain the trust of both parties? Who can gain, and more importantly keep, the trust of countries across the globe. Now those of you who only see the liberal in me are guessing I am going to say Obama. But I am not sure. My good friend Barack has a lot on his plate. He has a few wars (Iraqi and Afghanistan), domestic issues (healthcare, the economy, bankrupt states), and global issues such as the need for true environmental and financial reform.

As much as I support Obama, he is not the silver bullet for all of our problems. Who else is going to step up and say "Everybody! Stop it! Shut-up. Sit down and lets talk to each other like human beings." I know it isn't that simple. I know I am living in a fantasy world with rainbow stair cases and lollipops flowers. But my good friend Barack cannot do it on his own. We need someone else. We need everyone else. What am I going to do to help. What can you do?

What I should have said yesterday

Today is January 2. I am a day late and a dollar short on recapping 2008, making resolutions for 2009, and living my first day as a model for the rest of the year.

I really hope yesterday is not a forecast of what 2009 will be. I slept till 10am. Got up, took a shower, then went to the couch for a nap. I was there till about 12:30pm. Now this is not necessarily a bad morning. I caught up on sleep. I relaxed. I slowed down. I got to the grocery because I knew I didn't want to start 2009 out with ordering out - I was starting 2009 with a homemade healthy meal.

When I got home I returned to the couch. This time I turned on the TV and I got the goldmine. An Andy Griffin Show marathon. Yes, "staring Andy Griffin and little Ronny Howard." From 1 - 5ish I watched and napped through Andy Griffin episodes. Do you want to hear the sad thing? (Yes there is something sadder than 4 hours of Any Griffin.) I had seen some of the episodes before.

I don't know what draws me to Andy Griffin. His overly religious episodes and every episode ending with a full grin (those had to be caps) is against almost every grain of my nature. But when I hear that whistle, I am intoxicated. I am memorized by pie making Aunt Bea, the fishing pole carrying Opie, and the lovable, endearing, and usually unlawful stranger in town.

Today was the complete opposite. I got up, worked out, made a list of chores, did a bunch of them, and was pretty productive. I think a combination of the two for 2009 is a good balance.

My phrase was "Fine in '09". But now I decided I am going to be "Divine in '09". 09 will include lists, chores, and productivity. But I also hope it includes napping, relaxing and Griffin. Divine, so, so Divine.

Nothing

It is so freaking hard to do nothing. I am at work. The only phone call I got was from my Mom. The only emails I am getting are spam and forwards from my also bored out of their skulls co-workers.

Why am I here? Just to sit in a chair and say I was here because I am out of vacation days. Do they know how much money they are spending on me being here? The coffee cup I used today? The lights in my office, and energy that powers my computer? The paper and ink I used to print off my boarding pass?

Truly, there are three reasons why I came into work:

1. Print off my boarding pass.
2. Pick up my Christmas present that was printed at the loop Kinko's
3. Go to the German Christmas festival.

I will go to the German festival for lunch today. A good old bratwurst with potato pancakes. The only thing missing is the mulled wine. (I am daring at work, but not that daring).

Tonight I have lots to do: chiropractor appointment, wrapping of above mentioned presents, final packing, ect. All things I could have done if I took the day off. But, lets be honest. If I had today of I would be about as productive at home as I am here. I would sleep till 11am, have lunch with a friend, look at my packing for awhile thinking - I should really work on that.

I even have personal stuff I could work on today at work. Am I doing it? Nope. I am totally checked out. My brain is turned off. I am now in a zen like state so I can survive O'Hare airport tomorrow without being sarcastic, mean, or in anyway disruptive to anyone. I have already prepared provisions if delays happen: carrots, power bars, cookies to barter with other passengers for standby status.

But now, I am going to do nothing. I will stare at my iGoogle page, but not read any articles. I contemplate the stacks of files on my desk, but do nothing about it. One thing I will do today - something I love to do - is make a list of what I should do when I am back. Yeah, that is productive! I will plan for the future. Next week when no one is here (though no one is here now) I will get so much done today's lack of doing absolutely nothing will be totally obsolete. Yeah I will make a list. Good idea Alyse.