I'm in a smelly cab of emotion

Yes, the theater is only a 15 minute walk from my house. But it was raining, and after 9pm, and I can justify taking a $7 cab because I spent 7.5 hours today sitting behind a desk 'working'. So, on the corner of Lincoln and Beldon, I hailed a cab.

I sit. I smell. I regret.

It smells in the cab like wet 3 day old cigarette butts. At first I think the smell is from the last passenger. But as it does not dissipate, only permeates, I realize it is the driver. Ok, I can handle this. It is only a five minute cab ride to my place. But then, he wants to talk.

Now I am all for chatting up cab drivers. I have found cab drivers some of the most informed people in the city. I wish I could be that informed - and if I listened to NPR for 12 hours a day, I would be. But instead of NPR, this cab driver is listening to far right wing talk radio. Awesome.

So he starts in on the West Virginia primary today. I have not checked any of his facts, so if I misrepresent anything, please let me know.

Apparently Hillary won WV by 80%. All of this, according Cabbie McSmelly, to the lack of focus on the white, heterosexual, male. (His words.) I contemplated jumping out of the cab at this point. I can deal with smelly cabs. I can deal with chatty cab drivers. But both - with radical right wing conservatism - I just can't handle.

So screw it - just because he is in the driver seat of the cab doesn't mean he is the driver of the conversation. I challenge him, "Don't you think that election have solely focused on the white, heterosexual, male vote for quite a while?" I try to counter his arguments, but how do you form an intelligent rebuttal to a crack-pipe regurgitation of politico talk. So I give up.

I am calculating the crappy tip I am going to give this cab driver; but then I see that he is just an old man trying to make a living. He didn't charge me the $1 surcharge for high gas like he is supposed to. Once I stopped talking to him, he started to back peddle. He wished me a good night. I wimp out, tipped him fully and added the extra buck surcharge.

I don't think this means that I don't stand on my principles. It means I acknowledge the time and place to get on the soapbox. Maybe I am wishy-washy, but I like to think of it as compassionate. Has anyone coined "compassionate elitist"? If not, you heard it here first. Obama is a friend of mine on Linked In. Maybe I will pass it on to him.

things were much easier when King Louis VXI reigned

Back in the day, and I mean way way back in the day, things were easier. You didn't have to take a bath, you just put on more perfume. You didn't need a bathroom, you just had a bucket by your bed. You didn't need to worry about your hair - you just wore a wig. I am going to try to bring powdered wigs back.

A few months back, I discovered by first 2 gray hairs. The next day, I got my hair colored. It worked, no more grays. And my hair stylist says I can go up to 6 months before my next coloring because the color I went with is so natural. Also, it is a semi-permanent dye, which means it will lightly fade over time all over my head, instead of a permanent dye which gives you roots.

Today, at work, with not even a comb to part my hair on the other side, I found one, short, stubby gray hair coming right out of my part. At first I thought it was a trick of the lights. These bad poorly light office bathrooms. Then I thought I just had something stuck in my hair - maybe a stray bit of guacamole from the lunch taco bar today at work. But no, it was said gray hair.

But if I just had a powdered wig I could plop on, I wouldn't have to worry about any of this. In reality, I would probably buzz my hair a la GI Jane and just wig-it-up all the time.

So, who is with me? Lets truly go retro - powdered wigs and throwing our 'waste' out the window. Men wearing high-heels would be good too.

disappointed

I didn't expect this. I knew things were 'off' but I never thought this would happen. I don't even know how to react.

As of today, a mentor of mine has left my place of business to pursue other opportunities. I didn't even get to say goodbye.

I call him a mentor, but nothing was ever formalized. I had occasional large group meetings and felt encouraged, challenged, and respected. In smaller settings he was very personable. He talked to me about professional and personal growth. He talked to me like a peer, even though he was a SVP and I was a coordinator.

I will miss his philosophical views on work and life. I will miss his encouragement of radical ideas. I will miss him. I am disappointed that I will not learn from him anymore. All that I can do is to continue to learn and think in the ways he showed me.

solid

Rock Solid. The scenes I have worked on so far (about half) are solid. Sweet.

Who do I hate more?

Some people just rub me the wrong way. I know instantly, within the first 10 seconds, if I will:
1) Be friendly with the person and will forget about after my next drink
2) Be friendly with the person and recognize the face when I see him/her in Trader Joe's next weekend, but I can't place the person and I have no idea what their name is because I wasn't really paying attention when they were introduced to me.
3) Hate them.

I was at a party tonight. There were dirty hippies (who didn't smell, but looked dirty), but I am sort of a dirty hippie. There were artist snobs who talk like the love child of a valley girl and Tom Watts. They talk on vocal fry a lot and then go up at the end so everything sounds like a question.* But I am snobby about my art. Some people were just watching paint dry boring. And sometimes, this is me as well.

So what I learned tonight was that I hate myself. I had to go to a party to learn this?

Couldn't I have stayed home and watched Numbers and figured this out on my own? Okay, I don't hate myself. But when you take one aspect of me (hippie, snob, ect) and make an entire person out of it - it drives me a little crazy. I kind of hate them/me.

I need to turn this into a positive. I am working on my karma.

Variety is the spice of life. When you limit your experiences to only one spice, you become over powering and you turn people off. Like Mr. Clean lemon. Too much. The diverse spices in me are what makes me unique and keeps me from hating myself. Is it that I judge others too quickly? I am too hasty when I perform the mental equation of "Do I like this person"?

Yes. But, isn't this snap judgement one of the spices? Tarragon maybe? But is this tarragon overpowering the tortellini soup of my life? Perhaps...

*This sounds so funny in my head - maybe I should podcast instead of blog.

I'll tell you where you can stick that fork

I am done. It is 3:34pm and I have an hour of work left. But stick a fork in me - I am done! I usually limit myself to only doing as many things in one week that fit on my numbered list in my spiral bound notebook, but this week, I had to create a second column and - god forbid - not continue to number! I am still recovering.

But good news is I am an overachiever. Not only did I finish all the things on my list, I started my list for next week, AND did one thing already.

I love to cross things off.

Okay, I am done gloating. I am going to go BS around the office. My nose will be back to the grindstone Monday.

appleholic?

My name is Al, and I am an appleholic.

In January I went on the Skinny Bitch Diet. It consisted of eating not much more than fruit, veggies, tofu, and water. It worked, I lost weight. But I also developed and unhealthy obsession with apples. If I could follow the trail of Johnny Appleseed and eat from each apple tree he planted, I would. I am eating an apple right now.

Why am I eating an apple?
I was hungry, but it is too early for dinner and second lunches are frowned upon at work.

How do I know I have a problem?
My computer screen has specks on it where the juice of an apple has squirted out. My keyboard keys sometimes stick because they are caked with dried apple juice from my fingers. Also, I have been known to have a half eaten apple in my mouth like a roasting pig for up to 5 minutes while I type an email.

So, how many is too many?
From those who I have talked to about this the answer is 4. 1 apple a day will keep the doctor away, but 4 will have your friends calling a different doctor for you.

In the time it took me to write this post, I have eaten two apples. My first two of the day. I just need to take this one day at a time.